Holoween Costume 2010? We have to top 2009

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I stopped by Fresh Donuts this morning for a sausage and cheese kolache. The donut chef behind the counter asked me if I'd like it microwaved. I did. So she proceeded to nuke it for twenty or so seconds - just hot enough so that the cheese is transformed into molten Napalm. I paid for it was off to work when I thought: Why am I ok with my food being microwaved? It makes the name Fresh Donuts kinda ironic. Furthermore, were I aware that any other resaurant/fast food place heated my food in this manner, I'd probably quit going there. It's not that I'm ultra picky about the way my food is prepared, it's more that the only microwaved food I think is acceptable is popcorn. The rest of the stuff I stick in there are things like Hot Pockets, Ramen Noodles, etc. - food eaten usually becuase I'm in a hurry or something - and I'm fully aware that the food will probably be pretty gross.

Wifey is Mod Podge-ing right now (whatever that means). She says she'll write the next blog. We'll see.

Monday, June 28, 2010


Ok, ok, ok... I'm sorry. And I apologize on behalf of my better half, also. We have failed you, the avid reader of our blog - all three(?) of you.

We stopped making entries because one or more of the following reasons:

  1. Our life is incredibly boring. No one wants to hear about my amazing adventures in organizing my baseball cards - in reverse alphabetical order.
  2. A meteorite crashed into our livingroom - right between us and the computer and, out of fear of radioactivity, we haven't ventured near.
  3. I had amnesia after hitting my head (A story I will tell later. Hold your horses.) and I could only type and speak in Elvish. And wifey was too busy with an online Elvish-English translator to write anything.
  4. We didn't feel like it.

Anyway, we're back. So chill out. Let me start by getting you up to speed on what we've been up to. Mostly, we've been up to getting sunburned - TWICE in the past few weeks. And if it didn't sustain life as we know it on the Earth, I'd say I'd be fine if the sun never came out again. But I bought that blue sunburn gel stuff at Walgreens. The stuff with Menthol in it - so you go from burning up to having slight hypothermia in about 3 seconds.
Also, we've been hiking a lot. And by "a lot" I mean "Not a lot". We've hiked the trail that's roughly 2 miles (rounding up, of course, so it sounds better) a few times. I remembered all of the plants along the trail from the Outdoor Education class I taught at camp a few years back. And I couldn't help but bore Wifey with the intimate details of every plant - ad nauseam. One plant I was sure to point out, was Bull Nettle. If you don't know what Bull Nettle is, you are lucky. If you do, you'd probably agree with me when I give this scientific definition of it: It Sucks. It has tiny hair-like stingers that stick into your flesh and relentlessly irritate it for what seems like 15 minutes or more. One of the worst symptoms of coming in contact with Bull Nettle, is that it will make you say and think more explitives in a single minute as a full-length Chris Rock comedy routine. Just after explaining all of this to Wifey, I reached down to show her a Sassafras plant and the back of my hand brushed against a nearby Bull Nettle that I hadn't noticed. The next few sentences would have made Chris Rock sound like Chris Rice.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the amnesia story I promised you earlier. Well, last week, Wifey and I went to Academy to try to find some better shoes for hiking. She departed to go look for some shorts and I headed to the shoe section. In the center of the section, benches lined the aisles so that you could sit as you tried on shoes. Next to the benches, they had small bins with "try-on" socks for those who did bring any - socks that you discard of after use. Anyway, after trying a few pairs of shoes on, I finally made a decision, bent down to pick up the shoes, and crashed into the try-on sock bin - eyebrow first. I stood up imediately, clutched the basket in front of me, and... that's about as far as I could think to do. I stood there for what seemed like a few minutes, trying to shake myself back to reality (and for some stupid reason I cared more about hoping no one saw me hit my head, than the damage I may have done), when Wifey walked back with a few pairs of shorts and began explaining the tedious details of each one. I muttered, "I don't even know what you're saying right now". She kept talking about the shorts( Apparently, I say that to her a lot so it was no cause for alarm) She soon realized what happed and, after a few minutes more my head cleared and we left the store. I think I'll shop online for shoes next time. And when I'm online then, I'll be sure to write another blog entry - just as soon as this meteorite is gone. ;)